You'll probably say i just dont love him or dont love him enough and you could be right... maybe thats what i need to hear even if i dont want to hear that... i only know i have to get this out, so here it goes:

my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 3 months but we've been friends and had a short romantic relationship 10+years ago. we decided to give it a second try. i've always thought he is the best guy i could ever find and still think i want a future and a family with him.

the problem is he is needy and clingy and i feel smothered and trapped and i resent and despise his neediness. i need more space and he needs more affection, more effusions, more emotional and physical intimacy. i dont seem to be able to give him enough of that. we have talked about this and tried to find a compromise but thats not all:

i have to force myself to be romantic with him and i can barely stand his holding hands, his hugs and his kisses. and i almost completely have to act with more intimate actions (sex but especially foreplay) because i dont feel much the physical desire. its as if i have to wear a mask which is very tiring so it cant happen too often. essentially, the only physical thing i enjoy from him are his nonsexual caresses. (note though that he has been the first and only one i have had sex with - this must mean something, right?)

the only things i cant fake is happiness/enthusiasm when i see him (i feel it like a duty) and the desire to spend all my time with him (i NEED my alone time more than time with him). and thats what he's starting to complain about. we're on the breaking point and i dont know what to think/do.

yes, i've been ruthless and i see its easy to wonder why the heck am i staying with him and doing this to him, but i dont think its personal, at least for the physical part. i've never felt much physical attraction and i think he truly is a wonderful person and i love him. i dont feel in love but i surely love him.

i am in my 30s and never had a serious (meaning i see and want a future with him) relationship before. only very few and superficial experiences (where i didnt enjoy romantic effusions and physical intimacy much either). am i only inexperienced or just made this (wrong and abnormal) way?

any comment or suggestion? not that i deserve it but any help/input will be greatly appreciated.
thanks