My mother is a compulsive neat nik. She values cleanliness over people's feelings, which makes communication difficult. I think you sound mature and are not bouncing off the walls about this. How calm you seem is impressive.

Anger is not easy to talk through. In some ways there is a compromise in living in the same house with someone prone to anger. It is also sounding abusive so it is necessary to try to minimize how much you are exposed to it.

I have learned a lot about myself caring for others and compassion and caring have been nurtured. It sounds like you are a caregiver also. Is there someone else around that can keep your mother from going over the top with anger?

I think you could benefit from finding positive role models in your life as relatives or friends and keep nurturing yourself in those relationships. Your mother needs to get help when she is ready. But you can nurture yourself right now.

It is hard, but you are not alone. There are many nice, caring people here. Feel free to private message me or any community liason by left clicking on their name underlined in blue to the left of the post and selecting Send a private message to .....[their name]

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