You and your current wife can work it out because all together your problems are not major. However, I do feel that its very strange for her to lean on her ex who is gay and who she claims hurt her so badly. You would think what he did to her would be enough for her to cease contact, even if they have children together...that doesn't mean she should go crying to him about certain things.
I also think you made a mistake marrying someone after only 6 months. Marriage should never be rushed and I know sooo many people who are tying the knot after only months of knowing someone, its strange.

So tell your wife that if she keeps running to her ex husband whenever she needs a shoulder to cry on, it makes you very uncomfortable, and its not something that you can just look past.
Tell her if she needs a shoulder to cry on, it should be yours.