I'm not in the mood for drawn out prologues at the moments so let me jump right in. My counselor effectively gave up on me today because I said stuff I shouldn't have. I explained to her that I'm a bad person, effectively a parasite given human form who takes and takes from those around him but gives back nearly nothing without begrudgingly doing so out of duty rather than kindness, that I've squandered my blessed life (high income first world upbringing with two loving parents living together) and that anyone could've done better if they were given my circumstances. I'm a failure, basically. She asked if I think I could change and I said I don't know, but statistically (18 years of history) it is unlikely. She said that therapy is a place where one makes changes, and that if I don't think I can change there's no point to me returning. I have one more session in two weeks and if things have not changed I'll be discharged.
I don't even know what to ask, it's ridiculous that I managed to **** this up so bad after only three sessions. I guess what are your thoughts on this? I'm sorry, this is a waste of your time. I'm just venting.