Feeling alone is a horrible lousy place to be, I think accepting that your alone and can find a way to enjoy your life is the best way to go from here.

I do believe having a pet is one of the best ways to improve your life and your certainly not going to be alone, Sure its a furry friend, but if you have a local dog park or even a park or some place to walk him or her , people are drawn to animals, and many friendships are formed over mutual love of animals.

I think you could be turning a corner by accepting things, doesnt mean you give up all the way .But wow its exhausting to constantly try to go upstream ... Often just floating for a while is the way to go and you can build up your strength. I dont know if you do have a pet , But there are wonderful and can bring much joy to your life , if your able to have a pet and be able to care for one.

Be kind to you ..... You know best what is self soothing and what doesn't work