Thanks everyone. I broke up with him last year for similar reasons but I was hypomanic at the time and now I am mixed. I miss him already but also know I just don't have the feelings of passionate love that he deserves. I am running on empty and perhaps need some time alone to focus on getting better, work and university. Just those three are overwhelming me right now. In fact my therapist recommended I take myself to hospital today as I am so low and irritable but my hospital is a construction site so I am not going back to that. I also cannot afford to take more time off work or university. Yet I am very unwell. What do I do.Struggle through and hope this episode passes. Drown while trying? I am scared of all options. I just need my health back, gosh just closer to baseline and NOT mixed would be nice holiday. Mixed is so awful. To feel full of restless, agitated energy while deeply depressed and crying is awful. I need a break, soon.