I know that i am not "getting" something. Maybe it is one little click that would change everything for me.

I do feel a little bit of my old self back. But we need to learn from this depression. "The Tool" says that we go inner to learn our lessons in life. I mean i really want to learn my lesson so i move forward. How much inner do i need to get!?! I am getting used to being isolated again.

I know i am blessed that i have roof over my head. And i know it isn't from my own doing but because of kindness of a friend. So with this, i really need to move my life forward. Have my own life and money and such...and i decide yesterday that i want to help others with depression. Help them get through this! We shouldn't have to suffer like this. This past year, i realized how many people don't get depressed people. And how a lot of people are happy in their lives. Sure they go through struggles, but it isn't the same as depression. And reading from these posts, i realized a lot of things that people feared might happened actually happened to me. And i didn't even have those fears in my mind or realize that would happen. It is real shocker to me.

I know i am very fortunate though because a friend loved me enough to see me heal. She really help me to put myself together to even come this far. May she be blessed and be helped through her struggles. I know this part isn't about the self help books i read.