I think you're right Christina. That's why I'm not calling it a depressed episode. I'm stressed and winter doesn't help. The last thing i want to do is sit in the house all day and brood but it's only going to be 25 degrees out today and we can't afford to do anything. I'm gonna try and see if my sister in law wants to hang out or something.

My husband was laid off right after Christmas. He's trying like hell to find another job, he's had like 15 interviews. He always makes it to the second interview and then they go with someone else. He's going to start applying to gas stations and stuff just to get something. He's doing well with his addiction. He did take Vicodin for his back but I'm holding them and only giving him one a day - and I take them with me to work so I know he's not taking more.

I think I do have to talk to him. I think the main problem is I'm not being honest - I keep saying that I'm just fine when I'm slightly down and worried about everything. And he's scared. For the past two years when I've gotten depressed it's led to crazy manic episodes and hospitalizations. So he doesn't want to hear I'm down right now. I should talk to him and reassure him that it's not that bad.



So that just shows I am sooooooo much better than I used to be. I have to remember that. This is just a little bump in the road and I will feel better once my husband has a job and we can start paying our bills again. I'll also feel better when I start applying for new jobs. I'm stressed about that too. Hopefully districts start posting jobs soon, I'll make so much more money in a public school and I won't get cursed at on a daily basis. No more violence in the classroom!

I just have to get through until Wednesday, it will be 56 degrees on Wednesday!