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SongBirdandDaisy said:
Wants,

You sound like a cheerful person, despite what has happened. Pointing out the name I had chosen . . . You are an inspiration.

You mentioned that this happened to you four years ago and are still healing . . . when does the pain stop? When does the faith in the other person start to come back?

We have been married for 22 years and he is the only man I have ever known. I just don't understand.

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Unfortunately, Daisy, I am not a cheerful person. The pain is mostly gone. It took two years before I stopped feeling like I was living in a dream or nightmare. I had many conversations with women and a few men who lost others through divorce, abandonment, or death, and did some reading, and two years seems to be about the average for the pain to subside. Less time for some, more for others.

As for ever being able to trust and love again, I don't know if I will ever have that again. I used to call him "my angel" and "the best person I have ever known" and I was completely blindsided. I have zero interest in dating or being around men. I still have more trouble socializing, even making phone calls than I used to before all this happened.

I wish had better news -- that I bounced back after a month or two and life is better than ever. I wish it had been that ay.