Someone in coping with emotions subforum mentioned this book "Battlefield of the mind". It seems to have an effect.

I think that any thing that can help you to question or at least, test the way we percive reality is a help. I think we often percive the reality in such a wrong way. It's unfair and it doesn't make us happy. On the contrary.

I met a coworker who is the tutor of one of the groups I teach. She once came to the classroom and yelled at me while she hurries me up.
I was so upset. I had all kinds of negative thoughts about her and about me. Why did she do this with me if I never yelled at her? I'm a nobody bc she doesn't respect me.
When I knew her better, I came to the conclussion that she behas in this way with everybody. And I realized that in spite if this behaviour I didn't like, she has other qualities that I see very possitive.

First teaching: a person is not a behaviour. People make mistake behaviours for several reasons and they haven't to be related with ourselves.