Alright so yesterday I swept/mopped floors because I agreed on doing that as a chore...I am 25, live at home with mom and her boyfriend for anyone who's not familiar with that bit of my background. It was fairly exhausting but since i was already on a roll of cleaning I did my bathroom and some room organizing to, and took a shower. So finally everything was done and I went up just to get a snack and cup of tea planning to relax the rest of the evening and accidentally knocked my french press coffee maker on the floor where it shattered. I didn't care so much that now I have to get another one...but it was a gift from my Dad and I know he kind of went out of his way to get it for me when he did so that part upset me a lot.
Anyways so was not in the best mood, but eventually recovered from that...layed down and watched some movie, couldn't tell if it was a documentary or one of those fictional movies made to have the feel of a documentary fell asleep during it. Then this morning I get to wake up to my mom and her boyfriend arguing loudly again. So I went up told them I am sick of waking up like that and that it was bad enough I broke my french press after cleaning the darn floors for them and then I have to wake up to their bickering. And my mom said some thing like 'well I guess I just shouldn't...then trailed to mumbling, and I think her boyfriend mumbled something about he wasn't arguing. She did say she was sorry about the coffee press....and went to her room. Then she came back down to the kitchen I tried to talk to her a little and its like she just ignored me...went in the bathroom by the kitchen came out and like rushed up the stairs back to her room.....So of course now I feel like she was specifically avoiding me or that she's just being weird...and don't know what to make of it, then of course with how her boyfriends acting you'd never think he had just been in an argument.
Funny how if I say something its 'the alcohol' but if they bicker like little kids or stuff like that it's 'an issue they are working on' or it's 'their feelings'. Granted I've gotten carried away with alcohol...and have said things that weren't the best.....but its not like everythings cool and then if I touch alcohol it all the sudden goes to *****...more like stuff gets to me, sometimes it gets to me when I am sober...sometimes it gets to me when I've had a couple drinks. IDK....kinda working on finding ideas to move out, filled out an application for one place but haven't been able to arrange a ride to turn it in and weathers been a little crappy for taking the bus....so looking like I am still going to be here a while, but gotta figure out how to cope with being 'here'.
Sorry if this is the wrong section, just figured it had to do with family/interpersonal relationships....but maybe its better fit for the coping with emotions section or something.
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Winter is coming.
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