thanks for that excellent post dr. Clay. I've been contemplating the things you said all day now, and have actually come to a pretty positive conclusion on the whole matter.

The suggestion that I was overly focused on whether or not my conduct in a bad situation was correct or not is likely true. I should be focused on what caused the bad situation to begin with, and deal with it from there. my conduct in the bad situation itself is more or less irrelevant. Thanks for pointing that out!

And it is likely that things were indeed bad far earlier than I realised. I initially supposed things went bad when I put my foot down on a matter, at which point the medical professor exploded in my face, but it'd probably been going on far longer. I assumed all the treats and insults were just him being an '***' because that was his natural disposition or something, but he was trying to show his frustrations and was never just 'naturally' a bad guy. Much like I'm not generally a homicidal maniac in my dreams but can become so when frustrated with someone, he could've become aggravating equally because of frustration. The fact that I didn't even notice this probably made him even more angry.

With him cleared of the 'emperor Palpatine' status I had given him as opposed to the 'Obi-wan-kenobi' status I ussualy append to professors. I was able to think far more rationally about what happened between us, and I think his 'threats' and 'insults' may have been interpreted too much as such.

I think he may attribute value far more on how things ouside him judge him on things, whereas I attribute value based on how I myself judge things, i.a.w. he's more extrovert, while I'm more introvert. That in mind, he may have mentioned external means to try to motivate me to take a certain action, and I may have interpreted that as a theat far more than it was intended, because I don't naturally see anything outside myself as a strong motivant. This misinterpretation would've undoubtably worsened my own disposition, despite me trying to keep my cool as much as possible, adding more fuel to the fire.

If all these assumptions are true, there is probably more blame on me than on him.

You already seemed to have noticed the part of me not being able to read that he was frustrated and asked why that might be. I never like to think of it as such, but I have been diagnosed in the past as suffering from a mild case of autism, usually specified as asperger's syndrom. It basically boils down to me not being able to properly guage other people's emotions. It is however a pretty mild case, and I'm usually capable of getting along with others pretty well. (as far as I can gather, at least.) In my 23 years on this planet, this has only been the 3rd time that someone has exploded in my face so violently. In earlier cases it always singled the end of interaction and that was the end of it. Both earlier cases were females, so with help of the pretty prevalent dogma that 'women are weird, odd, unpredictable etc.' I was able do away with the idea that I had some blame in the situation. As of such I've always rejected the idea that there was something wrong with me, but the current situation really pushes this down my throat. Especially since you seemed to be able to read into this problem so easily without me even mentioning it and having written fairly little about myself. I may have to acknowledge that this asperger's syndrom might actually be a problem. And considering the speed with which you helped me get to what I consider likely to be the heart of the problem, I may also have to re-evaluate my opinion on asking for help, which I usually don't like to do very quickly.

Now for my next problem, with my anger mostly if not fully subdued and my trust in the general goodness of the human species restored, what is the best way to mend things between me and him? An apology would probably be in order, and telling him where I think things went wrong would also be a good idea. I'd sent him an email with it if it wasn't that I know he doesn't read his email because it's too cluttered with spam. Which leaves direct contact, which is not my forte, to be honest. What is the best way of preparing for something like this? The fact that I have dealt with most of my anger doesn't mean he did so to, and I am sadly human, so if he makes a wrong remark while I would be apologizing it's very possible of me getting aggrevated again, and things escalating once more. Something like that has to be prevented at all costs, so any advice on how to do this would be appreciated.

Oh, and the project ends at the end of this week, so I doubt they'd stop it this far in. We have final presentations next friday (where that professor will be one of the judges), so don't worry about not getting to know the end of this whole ordeal. and yes, it will probably leave a pretty big mark on my life.

(P.S. pickle, I have no experience with anything similar, as I usually supress most of my emotions (except wonder, I love to be amazed at stuff) rationally, until they're too strong to ignore. so I can only wish you the best of luck with your problem, and hope you'll become able to deal with random flares of anger. Good luck. )