i need to get out some of these thoughts. i'm sorry if they trigger.

i was severely sexually abused by my uncle aged 3-11. only last July did my story come out.

my uncle raped me throughout the years. he hurt me so badly. he made me bleed. i wet the bed and drew pictures of the abuse - classic childhood signs - but nobody ever noticed.

i am terrified of him. my grandma (his mother) doesn't believe me and continues to see him. he is a therapist specialising in trauma (i know, i know, he is a narcissist). i can't bear the thought of him being out there.

his hands used to rip me apart. and i can't bear it, i can't stand the flashbacks. it was so disgusting and perverted and sick and wrong. i felt really hot and bloated after, like i was dying, there was so much pain. i didn't know what to do.

i feel so guilty for never DOING anything; never STOPPING him. i just LET him have sex with me and do all these awful things. i was a doormat.

and that makes me feel awful.