I slept for 14.5 hours today. I really, really hate it when this happens.

I got paid last Friday and somehow I'm already broke. I think that may be what caused it. I have no idea where my money went, because I was making withdrawals and spending cash. I know where some of it went (what I didn't spend in cash) but not all. I must have spent 400 in cash between Friday and Wednesday, and have no idea how. I can only make half my portion of rent this month. My boyfriend is not happy about it at all. Luckily he can cover, but that's not the point. And I do still owe him.

So I think my brokeness is part of the reason I've crashed. The other part I think is that I have to start therapy again and really don't want to do therapy anymore.

I don't know. I just hate this, it's not fair. I don't choose this. My friend tells me it's possible to control my feelings, but how the hell do I control them when I'm unconscious and they make me sleep over half a day and I feel like there's a weight on my head and my body?

I know this will pass, I just really didn't want to be back here again. Maybe it won't last for long...

Does anyone know how to lift out of this?