Hey Steiner. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. The one piece of advice I can give you is to tell you a trick I used while in high school and college and was feeling suicidal pretty much every day. It's a little silly but it worked.

I would pick something I was looking forward to that had a scheduled date--usually something in a few months' span and something that didn't depend on anything I did or didn't do. For example, the next Harry Potter book coming out. Then I would say to myself, "Well, I can't kill myself until I read what happens next in Harry Potter!" Of course eventually the Harry Potter series came to an end and I had to start picking other things. Right now I'm pretty determined to see the new Avengers movie.