Why do I, personally ,believe that no one posts in this forum? The answer is very simple and complex at the same time, in the way that I perceive it. I`m about to turn 30 years old next month and the term 'personality disorder' was unknown to me until I was scouring the internet about mental illness after being prescribed an antidepressant and having a bad reaction to it. To make a long story short, the medication I had been prescribed gave me some kind of weird insight, as you usually get when high on some kind of illegal substance. I brought up a list of all known mental illness and was reading through them all, in which I have about 80% of, according to the symptoms, and I was reading about schizoid personality disorder in particular, and felt like I was reading a description of my life. Now that I can put in perspective these things which I thought were personality traits limited to myself, in other words that I was weird, I have a new understanding of myself...just knowing what is wrong with me. I always sought treatment for social anxiety and depression, but when I came across someone else with social anxiety, I said "if they have social anxiety, I wish that I had that." In reality I suffer from an extreme pain in which I cannot escape. I want no part in being around other people, but in order to do that, I need other people. In other words, I am deathly afraid of a society in which I need in order to protect myself from it. I need society to help me, in order to have the resources to say. hey "I`m so anxious, let me get away from you." I hope someone else relates to this, however unorganized or strange it my be.