Quote:
Originally Posted by freespirit37
I understand what you are saying Velouria, and I find myself thinking the same kind of things. I have trouble calling alcoholism a disease as well. I can call it an addiction, but not a disease. If I call it a disease then that could lead to me avoiding personal responsibility, and I could rationalize it to the point where I could go back to drinking. (I couldn't help it, the disease made me do it, etc.)
I also dislike the assumption that if you don't go to meetings daily, then you must be drinking. That may be true for some people, but not everyone.
I do think though, that working the steps is important for my recovery. My goal is not just to stay sober, but to get better.
The cheesy slogans do annoy me a lot, because they don't really answer the deep questions or deal with the real issues.
For instance, when I was upset about inappropriate things that some of the men were saying in meetings, my sponsor would say, "Remember that some are sicker than others." Okay that doesn't help. Maybe I don't WANT to be around those who are sicker than me and I shouldn't have to be.
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I think alcoholism/drug abuse is almost always a symptom of a larger problem, such as mental illness. I really do firmly believe that.
And that's what makes me so mad when people blame their disease -- chances are, they are blaming the wrong thing and should be in therapy, in addition to going to meetings. Meetings are not free therapy in any way.
But that's my opinion.
Working the steps is important. I don't disagree. But I think the steps need to be revised. For instance, the idea of "powerlessness" -- many people take that idea so literally. I don't believe I am powerless over alcohol, though. I can go to a bar and hang out with friends and not even be tempted to drink. But I am powerless over it once I start drinking (that's for damn sure!). If I decide to drink again, it's not because I was powerless before taking the first sip, it's because I said, "**** it, I'm gonna drink anyway." I'm still making the decision.
The steps kind of force you to shoulder the blame without telling you to understand why you've behaved the way you've behaved. "Inventory" sounds like just a log of what you've done wrong. You make amends with people you've wronged along the way -- but what if you already did that? What if you'd been practicing Step 10 the whole time you were drinking anyway? They don't believe you at all!
As for the whole "Some are sicker than others" comment about men saying inappropriate things -- that's a contradiction to taking them having to take personal inventory! And you shouldn't have to be in a room with people who are saying things that are offending you. It's counterproductive. You shouldn't have to be in an AA meeting, where you're supposed to feel safe and be focused on getting better and learning effective coping skills, with people who are making you feel uncomfortable.
Okay. I'm really sorry this was so ranty.