Cosmicrose, i am at that state where i am sick and tired of it and i want to be happy in spite of it and all the misery it has caused in my life. I am much older than you. I am going to try to feel the pain and push my way through it. It really is hard when you are in that state. We need to keep sharing our experiences and at those moments that we come though it. I had so many of those. I am trying to visualize the future better. It is very hard, but it is worth a try. I mean it is really hard. Try to see if there is anything to look forward to. Try something very simple like what you want the next moment. But then try longer ones in the future. Just dream and i am going to try what i just advice a out the next moment.