Couldn't think of a better title. Anyways...

I have been having staph abscess. The doctors think it might be mrsa. Blah, blah, blah. So I tried to cut it open to drain it and it was a good excuse to cut (not really, but...) I stopped pretty early for fear I would take it too far like the last time I cut. So through a series of medical (or lack there of) event, I decided to go to the ER to get it treated. The doctor cut it opened, drained it, no problem.

But tonight, I go to take a shower and take off the bandage. I almost pass out at the sight of the incision.

I don't know why this happens?

I am a cutter and NEVER feel nauseous from looking at my cuts no matter how deep they are. I have tattoos and that process doesn't bother me. But when a doctor cuts me, or I watch a piercer pierce me, or a nurse give me a shot or draw my blood...I always feel so sick and weak. It's not the pain or the blood. It's the thought or sight of someone else piercing my skin.

I can watch TV shows on surgeries no problem. But I can't watch them make the initial incision. I can watch a c-section, but again, not the incision.

Does anyone else have this weird issue? It makes no sense to me how I can do something to myself and be okay with it, but to watch someone else do it to me or anyone else is sickening to me.