Wants2Fly, I say go with your instincts. If your mental health can't handle editing your vocubulary, then dump this guy. Your mental health is far more important than any man and this guy smells like trouble.

I myself have never had a serious relationship with a man, too scary for me. If the person I am with doesn't understand this, then he is not worth having around.

Part of a relationship is respecting your partner's fears and if that respect leads to the end of a relationship, so be it. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and the man should be mature enough to take it without cursing you out for it.

Richard wasn't. He was a man I barely knew. We met at church and he invited me out for pizza one time to express his sexual interest in me. Sex was all he cared about and he was saying other things like "God wanted me to go out with men." (Convenient! Maybe God wants me to become a nun.) He tracked me down in the street to make several inappropriate comments. When I ran from him, or tried to avoid him, he cursed at me.

He apologized to me for it with a teddy bear when he learned about my chronic pain from a blabbermouth parishioner. (I had been running from him for over a year at this point). He said he loved me. Something seemed not quite right with him, but I told myself I was overreacting, but when Father Lindsay said that this guy sounded like he had problems, I stood him up before a second pizza meeting.

He had a talk with Richard, told him that I was under enough stress already and that if he didn't leave me alone, the authorities would be notified. Richard didn't quite get it.

Then I learned from someone else that Richard had pulled this same sort of thing with another woman and that he did indeed have problems. I recently heard he was being kicked out of a church meditation group as a direct result of his antics.

I never said a word to the group leader about my problem. It only leaked out to the parish priest when I went to Doug and he e-mailed him. But word travels fast in that church, even though it seats hundreds.

I never had any intentions of having sex with Richard. Sex repulses me, though I am getting to the stage where I wouldn't mind being held. But Richard thought you take someone out for lunch, you have sex with them.

If Doug operated like that when he came in August, he'd be guilty of adultery!

In short, listen to your instincts. And not being with a man does NOT make you a loser. I've had to tell myself this many times.