Both people need to be on board and responsible for there place/part in the relationship..

You need to try and get your BP under control, yeah its hell and seems impossible at times but you just have to keep trying , improve coping skills.

He should see a Therapist to help him understand how to help you and keep himself healthy. He needs to learn you can be upset and it have nothing to do with BP.

The threats and back and forth isn't good for either of you. Resentment can build up and ruin everything .

Couples therapy would help you both learn how to fight fair.... All couples MI or not need to learn how to fight fair.

Good Luck