You should find a therapist, you need help to process everything he has done, it will help you decide if you really want to be with him and find out if you really can trust him again. You will never forget what he has done be you can forgive him for it, if you decide to stay in the marriage.

Of course he needs to keep up his end and continue with getting himself help and I would say I would want and need to see proof that he is indeed capable of being faithful and respectful.

I'm sorry your hurting... Find yourself a Therapist and for now, Just worry about feeling better and having some control over your life as right now your just scattered.

I do think you need some time apart , No visit here or there.. Just a total break from seeing him. Being physical with him right now is only going to make things harder for you.

Welcome to PC