Dear eggplant Your postings are so beautiful, you didn't expose yourself or anything, 'cause you wrote what exactly a lot of people are going through. Actually, I'm going through worse than that

It's very hard for me to write this, 'cause I'm SO DEPRESSED that ticking the keyboard is an exhausting task for me now

Right now, I don't know what to do at all... I've got my OCD, depression, & perfection mixed up together to complicate things for me... Every time I say I'll start healing myself with self help tools tomorrow, & then I feel that I'm not doing it right, & I stop after a week or so... It's been like this for me since I was in high school, & now I'm 29 years old. & I'm like telling myself, OK, I'll start healing myself when I'm 30 years old!!! It's crazy I know

I never stick up to anything for a reasonable time & I don't know anybody to help me, 'cause my family abandoned me, & I don't have any friends. Even when I start searching for psychotherapist, I keep searching for a week or so, & then stop, & delete all the names I found & say I'll start from the absolute beginning tomorrow... It's been like this my whole life... I hate myself so much. i can't write anymore, i hate myself