I dunno. I seem to have a pattern in my life of doing really well for a while, and then screwing it up so I had to start over again. I cannot figure out how in the world I managed to get away with the stunts I would pull, I was a long haul trucker for 18 years and I consider myself lucky to have not killed anyone. Driving coast to coast while manic or trying to do my job while so depressed I could barely get out of my bed. Not the guy you want driving that 80,000 lb rig beside you on the interstate.

I guess if I had been diagnosed earlier I would have never had that career, maybe I'd still be married and have my house and all that but who knows?

All I know is now I just want to get, and remain stable, put my life back together and hopefully, If I can't be happy, at least be content.