I had session with him that day. All day prior to the session I was very weepy with a pit in my stomach. I now had to face him in person. I thought I would be ok until I sat in the chair in his office and then I thought I would lose it and cry. Instead what happened was I froze in the waiting room chair when he came to get me. I could barely speak. I was shaking and crying. I could not get up out of the seat. He was trying to reassure me that everything was fine and I should not feel bad or embarassed. I kept saying I want to get up and go in his office but could not move. He asked me ifI wanted him to help me up. I finally said yes and all it took was for him to just guide me and I finally stood up. What a scene and how embarassing. I hope he never asks me about that because I have no idea why I could not move.

Most the session was spent with my head down and him talking softly to me, trying to get me to look at him, and reassuring me that everything is Kosher in his book.

He has been very supportive and understanding what is happening. He says the connection I have with him is a good thing!

I feel so relieved and untriggered. So much lighter. I am grateful that he does not feel overwhelmed by my attachment. I asked him if he was going to tighten his boundaries to teach me a lesson. He said he feels it is his fault because he does have looser boundaries than other therapists and perhaps that is the reason I got so attached. He said it is his style and he is not going to change how he conducts his therapy with me. I was concerned I was going to feel like I was getting punished.

I am so grateful he will be there to help me deal with what I feel and not scoled me for it or refer me out.