SirenSong - I'm glad that some of my words have helped you gain perspective on your situation with your husband, and I hope that situation will improve.

I think it can become a powerful motivator to do better when we realize that we're not the only ones who are suffering as a result of our depression. Sometimes realizing that a person you love is suffering as a reaction to your depression can help you perk up and become more of an energy source than an energy drain to them.

People gravitate toward other people who somehow fill them up or give them something they're looking for, and sooner or later they will start to avoid those who suck away energy and bring them down, make them angry, what have you.

A good time to work on being an energy source is when you are only mildly depressed. Try to put your depression aside and be an energy source to other people in some way. Just the very act of doing this can help lift you up.

On grief, it takes as long as it takes. It can't be rushed and shouldn't be swept under the rug.