Wow...what a child hood....upbringing.......I'm almost scared to offer any advice.....I can say I resented my father perhaps as much as you did your mother...for other reasons....the kicker being I never let it go...kept a really bad attitude and grudge towards him..........to the point I ended up in the hospital....this was years ago...I still miss him...love him...but I think you have to forgive and move on....touching on those memories...like you said...younger....happier times.....am I making any sense? Hope the best for you and your family...Artie