I'm 30 years old and have had health problems throughout my life. Obviously mental health issues have always been a problem for me, even as early as my preschool years it was evident there was something wrong with me. I was incredibly shy and withdrawn, anxious, I struggled academically and needed a lot of support which I never received. All the while that I lagged behind my peers, no one ever felt the need to have me evaluated to see what was going on. Instead the general assumption was that I was lazy, not trying hard enough.. my parents belittled me constantly calling me a problem child and telling me I'd never amount to anything.
Well my parents may have been psychic because indeed I never amounted to anything. After dropping out of school, I spent several years being unemployed, living in a shelter and receiving welfare. From the age of 23-25, I moved to a cheap apartment, worked 12 hours a week for minimum wage while still receiving some welfare. After quitting that job and being unable to find work for an extended period of time I found a low skill job, minimum wage, 30 hours a week with no benefits (such as health or dental). I've worked there for four years now and have managed to under perform to such an extent that I've never got a raise or been put on the health/dental plan other employees receive (which would obviously help me out greatly).

Now the lame thing is that I have genuinely tried to be a good employee and get ahead in life but there are just so many layers of problems that I feel incapable of making improvements. Besides my mental health issues, low self esteem and shyness, I also have multiple physical health challenges. I have a diagnosis from a neurologist of dystonia. Some other symptoms I get include tremors, coordination problems, slowness, frequent headaches, generalized pain and stiffness, and crippling fatigue. I also have had strange occurrences where I felt like I was having seizures and a few times I've had strange delusions/psychosis but that problem will go away. I suffered tremendously with trigeminal neuralgia for a length of time but it has gone into remission. I haven't had a brain MRI or any testing, my diagnosis of dystonia was based on the fact that it was visible to the neurologist. I've been surgically diagnosed with stage 3 endometriosis and allergies but those conditions are not troubling for me. I did start taking medication for my dystonia a few weeks ago. I made a huge mistake and had a few drinks while at my sister's birthday party.. well apparently medications and alcohol don't mix too well. I completely embarrassed myself. I passed out on the toilet and couldn't get up. Some people dragged me to the floor, I threw up on myself and on the carpet. I remember being unable to respond or move, yet I could hear people around me talking. And of course it was my sister and boyfriend talking about me, saying that my health problems are all in my head and that I fake being sick either for sympathy or so doctors will give me medications. Then not only that but they complained about how much of an inconvenience I cause other people by asking for a ride to my specialist appointments. The only reason I ask for a ride is because with all the issues going on I don't feel I'm safe to drive. I can barely manage driving a few minutes in a small town with minimal traffic. I don't think it would be safe to drive on the highway in order to get to the city to see my neurologist.
I apologize sincerely if I sound like I'm being a victim or anything like that, it's been a really hard day for me.