I have sexual obsessions and harm OCD, and I frequently fear that I'm going to molest someone, even though I have no desire to. I know bumping into someone isn't molestation, but if I THINK of something as molestation, then I have a moment where I'm TOTALLY okay with doing it, doesn't that mean that in that moment I was okay with molesting someone?

Because I feel like I truly- and I mean more truly than ever before- did not care if I molested someone a second ago.

I was reenacting something that had just happened in a hallway to figure out if I'd done something on purpose. Suddenly I thought someone was behind me- and I stepped BACK as I turned around, not caring if I bumped into them, molested them, or whatever. There turned out to be no one behind me. But if there had been I probably would have bumped into them, and it might have hurt. And as I was doing it I didn't care.

I risked molesting them when I stepped back- I DID NOT care if I molested them. Now I feel literally the only thing that doesn't make me guilty of attempted molestation is that there turned out to be no one there.

I realize that I haven't hurt anyone. But that doesn't mean I didn't just betray my boyfriend. Or try to hurt someone. Or was okay with hurting someone.

Have I betrayed my boyfriend, or done something wrong? Please be honest with me- as much as I don't want to believe I've done anything wrong, I don't want to lie to my boyfriend even more. So I'd rather know the truth.