Quote:
Originally Posted by she.will.b24
I actually thought that may have been her way of making amends, but when I took a while to answer her she said she could find someone else. Then when I was honest with her about how I felt about it, she said she figured I felt that way and that "she wants a friendship I don't want" and that she'd find someone else. From my point of view, she is the kind of person to dump her responsibilities on other people. The year I lived with her, my mother in law took care of her child more than she did and she was a stay at home mom. I guess my point is that I feel that I've reached a point where I either need to figure out how to let go, or cut her out. And I'm not sure how to do either without coming across as either weak or an ***.
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I so hear you! There are a few questions that I have. How does your husband feel about this? Does it bother him? Does it bother other family members? Do you often have family get togethers in which you will have to see this person on a regular basis?
First, I want to say that I have had two situations in my life like you describe. First, with my mother in law. After my divorce, my second, my boyfriends daughter. The questions above are important because it is important to realize that usually in a family, these situations involve more that just you. It is important to factor in family members feelings as they are not going anywhere unless you divorce, leave etc...
It is so unhealthy to have toxic relationships that you continually have to interact in.
My advice, I would head for higher ground. I would be polite, and NOT ENGAGE. Your actions should not be governed by their actions. Do the right thing with as little as possible interaction. Believe it or not, they soon get the point that you want nothing to do with them. Most people are seeking a response. If the door never opens, they do stop knocking. They may mention you to other people but at least the emotional roller coaster does not involve you anymore. Best of luck with this. This is so hard I know. Remember, life is short, savor every moment because we never know how long we have. Trust me, I was diagnosed with an incredibly aggressive breast cancer. It totally got my priorities in the right order ASAP. Nurture your own emotional health because no one else will do it for you.
Best of luck and have an awesome day!