Thank you CANDC, the clean up is necessary and definitely satisfying. It helps as it dissipates the guilt, sweeping away the evidence. The issue I have is opening the packages. I use food as a quench, a quell, a quit for the anxiety rising.

Here is my issue. I go to a doctor and he/she provides a diagnosis, therapy and maybe medication. I need to understand why I am going through this as well as how to bridge the gap I keep falling into over and over. To that end I have come to this forum, to those who have come before me and can share their experiences so I can compare what I am working though with others and then, eventually.., heal.

Please, share with me. My hope is in faith, badly shaken, persecuted and most of the footsteps lately are my own. These steps, trampling on my faith and on my self confidence and hope, are lighter now than they have ever been, save the really big ones. You see, I have come such a long way, working through steps to overcome some horrific experiences, things no pill nor talk therapy could have addressed without empathy. Empathy generated from others experiences that I could learn to point inward. Empathy leads to nurture, nurture to healing, healing to maturity.

I have found healing for terrible, terrible memories and felonious acts against myself by feeling compassion for others, then using that to mature.

Is that to be found here indepth? Are there shares here that journal the struggle and then work through the challenges? I want to get off this roller coaster, the hard way or the easy way as long as there is a way.