My son is 12 and meets with a pediatric pychologist every three weeks or so and I always have direct access to speak with the therapst !!! I don't know if this is the difference in age or not but I share info about stressors going on at home or at school with the therapst that are impacting my son.

And without my son's permission. The therapst offers advise and suggestions for my son's I.E.P., any school plans, as well as suggestions for handling specific behavior issues at home.

All of this is done with my son's best interest in mind and nothing is devious or sneaking behind his back. He is 12 years old !!

I do not ask what transpires between the therapst and my son, the therapst will let me know if anything is up that I should be aware of. Usually, at the end of the session, the therapst comes out with my son and the two of them together will share something about what they worked on with me - but not all the time.

I call the therapst, send email, send faxes etc all the time and my son isn't informed nor is his permission sought.

Again - I'm not sure if the difference is that your child is 13 and mine is 12 ... but I just can't imagine. I would feel handcuffed if I wasn't able to communicate openly with any of my son's therapst.

I also don't think your own relationship with your therapst is the exact same as your daughter's in that she is a minor and you are an adult. I don't think it would be helpful or fair for you to get the exact details of the entire conversation - which you already said that you didn't want to interfer with anyway.

All you want to do is provide necessary information. I would think that your daughter's therapst could hear you out and then perhaps help you out with the best approach to help your daughter. I'm with you about the grizzly momma bear feelings - you just want to take care of your child. Which is why you are sending her to therapy - because you love her and want to help her.

I know of another parent whose child works with a therapst and from what I can gather, that parent also speaks with the therapst without gaining the child's permission. I have not heard of this situation for a child. ?? I don't know what advise to give but wish you the best with figuring this out.