Feel for u completely...hours after I knew my husband cheated with me... we were at it like rabbits.. I've read about emotional bonding and i think that's what it was. Bc i hated hated him too. We've since reconciled as he was diagnosed bipolar but now there's a whole different set of problems..porn is a huge issue we've always had. I feel after so long of looking looking it's looking it's only a matter of time before they act on it. I really really suggest going to a counselor. I am.. but we r at the point we need couples counseling too so he understands the impact of his actions. Hugs to u sweetie I hope u get the relief u deserve. Remember take care of u as hard as it may be.. i ended up in the hospital and I have children i need to think about so that was my motivation to try to eat/sleep and never feel embarrassed to cry- u deserve to, love.