I have had a very difficult relationship with my dad since age 13. Now I am rapidly approaching age 60. With a seriously bad period of time that started with my major nervous breakdown ten years ago, I had to stay at my parents' home and my dad and I fought terribly. My judgment was seriously off and he has no tolerance or understanding of mental illness. He threatened to hit me a few times, once I went to a women's shelter to get away from him. He and my sister kicked me out of his house for a couple of weeks. Yes, things were awful.

Fast forward to now, he is now living in assisted living, my mom has since passed away. Now he wants me to visit frequently. When I do, it is awkward most of the time and he always says something to make me very irritated, sometimes angry. I don't visit as often as I should and feel quite guilty about it. He talks to me constantly about my estranged sister which I have asked him not to do! That is very hurtful. There is a lot of guilt served up all around and I feel bad about my terrible feelings towards him. I think the only reason I visit is motivated by guilt only. It's a tough situation.

I don't know how to reconcile this and have peace of mind about. I just go visit, take him food I cook that he likes and try to do things for him. I feel like such a phony however when I do these things. He probably does not have long on the earth, which makes me feel even more guilty. It's a double edged sword for sure!