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nushi · Mar 02, 2015, 05:22 PM

Hey eggplantlife

I'm a bit better today. Reading your words makes me feel that you have a very beautiful & innocent soul in you

I never understood people talking about one having gratitude in one's life, 'cause I'm always angry & loathing towards myself & my life, but reading your words makes me understand the potential in a beautiful human soul to be grateful, even though it's hard for me to feel it toward my life

If you don't work full time now eggplantlife, I think it will definitely help you to conquer depression by engaging yourself in something meaningful in your life, besides fighting depression. If you only focus on fighting depression & on your mental condition, without doing somthing "outside the box" that might increase your depression IMHO. I'm saying this, because each time I don't work, my depression increases. Actually, even while working, if I don't engage myself in something I enjoy, I suffer also from depression. The times I least felt depressed is the times I engaged in political activity in my country here, which made me feel good, & gave me no time or capacity for depression. If you don't work now, try engaging in social, political, sports, or any outside activity that might interest you, & trust my word for it, it will change your life

I also got this problem of medication you have. I was scared from reading your story of medicaid abruptly stopping your medication, 'cause I'm currently taking Paroxetine (Seroxat), which is expensive, & I depend on my father's pension money to pay for it, & that money might stop any time! But every time I try to stop Seroxat (even gradually), I start suffering from withdrawal symptoms, so I get to take it again

I hate being so dependent on a drug, that I might suffer very bad if I can't buy it anymore! It's like being a slave to some pills!