Well, maybe a safe way for you to gain some experience is by trying to attend a group setting like NAMI, where you can work through some of the barriers to you really feeling independent. You could meet people who are in a similar boat and try to figure out what's holding you back. Maybe it's something combined with emotional maturity, like trust issues or something. On your profile, you said that you have had some suicidal feelings, so maybe a group like NAMI would help.