Because of my family and financial situation, I have been unable to go to a therapist or psychologist outside of what my highschool offers. This usually is just fine to me, I usually don't mind. However I have been very confused about myself and I have been trying to figure myself out.

Lately I have been suspecting I might or might not have OCD. I'm really unsure and, while I don't have anything against self-diagnosis, it makes me anxious thinking that I might be looking too far into things sometimes.

I know for a fact I have some kind of anxiety disorder. I'm an overall anxious and nervous person. I also know that OCD is a form of anxiety. I never really considered myself to have this before because I know how much of a serious disorder this is.

A youtuber who is my idol once spoke out about his experience with his actual OCD, and I really related to it, but it was nothing like I learned in classes. He described his symptom with an example like "I kept myself from going outside. Because if I went outside, I would see my ex girlfriend, and if I saw her, I thought a bunch of other horrible things would probably happen."

I have the same feeling as this! But when I heard this story, I thought nothing of it. However, lately I've been getting more and more stressed out to the point of physical pain and panic attacks. (I'm shaking as I'm typing right now!!!) A recent example would be: I lost a grey beanie with two of my favourite pins on it. I keep looking every day at school at both of the lost and founds they have. I looked everywhere I could possible be. I start worrying that someone I am not fond of found it, took it knowing it was mind, and kept it just to spite me. I started crying because I feared that I would have to confront this person.

I visit my school Social Worker often, and today I read her DSM. I looked up OCD and at the diagnosis page. I'm pretty sure I have all of the symptoms of obsession, since I do tend to violently worry over small things and can't stop thinking about it. But I'm unsure whether or not I have the compulsive part?

I know that people's compulsions differ from person to person, and it can be anything. However, how do I know whether or not what I'm doing is a compulsion or not? I'm thinking of composing a list of things I do every day when I have school and when I don't have school. I'm not sure whether or not that would help, though. I still am going to see my social worker again just to make sure.

Research is very hard for me because I just can't focus on reading for long periods of time, but I did read the OCD entry in the DSM, and the Obsession-Compulsive Personality Disorder, and a bit of the wiki page of Primarily (or Pure) Obsessional OCD. So far, the last two doesn't seem to fit me.

I feel like I really NEED to know whether or not I have OCD or not. I want to know whether or not I'm not overthinking or not. I guess you could say I'm having obsessive thoughts over this, and it's just causing so much distress.

Thank you, for anyone, in advance who is reading this or is replying to this!!! Sorry if this is a long read.