Hello, my name is Oliver. I'm 18 years old and I'm 5'4, 167cm tall or should I say "short".

As you can imagen my height is really the largest downfall on my self-esteem. A man, I'm not a man, I'm not taller than most women, and it's really hard to face that. I'm that short, but my mentality is still of a man.

When I started ground school, I suffered from The Napoleon Complex, and I think I might still be doing so. I was always picking fights with the bigger and taller kids to try and prove to myself that I could be cool and "dangerous" and respectable, but what happened? What happened was that I become very cocky, and the bigger kids decided to put me in my place, all the way down on the social ladder. I became bullied for 2 years in ground school untill the bigger kids had moved on to Gymnasium, and from there on I have lived with very low self-esteem.

Today, I still feel like I want to go outside and find a big guy and start a fight. I'm not a wimp, I know this but I havn't really proved it to myself. I've been through so much crap and I think of everyone else as weak because they have been given a piggy ride by their height while I've been walking in the mud because I couldn't reach the rope.

I honestly don't think I would be where I am today if I was taller, and where I am today is not a good life. I've been sitting infront of a computer 24/7 for the past 4 years.

I keep thinking of ways to somehow redeem my pride that I lost so long ago. Can I become a Cop? No because I'm short and I have Asperger Syndrome, ADHD, OCD and god knows what more. Can I become a Boxer, UFC fighter, no because I'm short and here in Sweden every one is 6 feet. Can I become a soldier? No because of my diagnoses and autism.

So, what do you want me to do? Pretend that being short is awesome and avoid reality? I keep playing these video games, where I can be someone else and actually feel awesome for a little bit, but then I step outside of my room and get reminded about my crap life and how short and powerless I am.

I have so much anger built up inside me. I want to go outside and scream my lugns out and destroy something. There is an animal living inside me.

What I would give and do just to grow a few more inches is beyond this world. It's a curse to be male and short, the curse strips you of everything that makes you a man.