That's the rub of it no one really knows how unhappy I am. Haven't tried to off myself since i was a teen so they think it's all in the past. I wear my pain on the inside so no one else has to see it. I know after years of therapy and medication there is no happiness for me. Some meds help a little when I can afford to get them but that's rare.

I've been miserable for 31 years. At this point I don't think I'd know how to be anything else but as long as I can fake a smile and no one else sees who cares?