I actually have a lot to "get out," but I'm also too worn out to just spill it, as much as I'd like to. My OCD and panic disorder are acting up majorly lately, and while part of it is dealing with the cats I mentioned in the pets forum (I am contacting some of the suggested organizations today), the other thing that is overwhelming me is the mess that is our house. ("Our" being my boyfriend and I.) He talks about getting it cleaned up, but we never set up a date or time, and he's almost always at work, church, vacation, trips and family visits, or just on his computer, in his office. I feel stressed all the time now. My OCD makes doing the clean-up really complicated, and I doubt I can even handle it physically and mentally, but I want to get it done, or, better yet, move to a new house and start over (not likely to happen, due to lack of funds). I'd like to get all my stuff out, dusted as necessary, get the house cleaned by professionals, and bring my stuff back in. Truthfully, I need a bigger house, because almost everything I own is stuffed into my room... If I had my own place and it was bigger than this one, I could set things up so that I could get what I need when I need it. Most of my stuff is in plastic bins. I don't even have much room on my bed to sleep and change position comfortably. I want to cry, but I can't seem to cry much anymore, even though I feel like it. My boyfriend gets irritated with me when I talk about it and press him for action in coming up with a solution. I understand he has none, but I need us to figure out something.

Vented more than planned. Sorry about that. Just want to scream. Tired of living in a house with so much trash.