I was abused as a child, well not sexually but punished very severely up-to age 8-9 (if I remember right). At any rate I was first grade or even second, I had problems in school and my father beat me for my report cards. (yes, I was very intense as a child). Maybe this explains why I am masochist?
We lived in a dysfunctional family, my parents fought a lot, but when my father died I cried more than when my mother. Isn't this weird? I am sure he was beaten just the same and could not break the cycle.