Part of it is the change in season, but mostly it's chronic stress. My roomates have consistently disturbed my sleep for the past year and it's been a very difficult year with unprecedented levels of stress. I'm tired, I'm spiking into irritable hypo in response to stress and sleep disturbances. I've begun to have diarrhea, constipation, and gas due to all the stress. I've asked for their consideration multiple times throughout this period of time to little avail. I don't have anywhere else I could go. I'm tired of trying so hard and believe I'll soon just let go, cease my constant efforts to moderate my behaviors - doing what I must rather than what is felt. To let things glide, no one at the controls; I think that if I did this I would find some relief. I could be relaxed, if only for a time, even if the time was spent murdering the people associated with the constant antagonism I experience every day and every night.

I would not be worried if all of this was new, a change from some baseline, but it's been building up, wearing down my ability to cope, physically, psychologically; mind and body altered by the experience into something ready to do violence. Worse yet, I envision that once I've killed a few people why not keep going? Just work my way house to house until something ends it all.