So Saturday night I made a desperate attempt to make everything just stop. My son is ADHD and possibly bipolar and he's 12 years old and I can't handle him anymore. I feel like I'm failing every time I try. It may has been points out that he thinks the problem is me and my relationship with my son. I feel guilty I feel like a failure. And of course if I pull back and that my husband be in charge of the daily duties it always seems to go well. However that's only for a few days. Has he works full-time and I am typically the one in charge .

I've now been in bed since Saturday I have told everybody that I have the flu and I've been throwing up which is not true I've been going through all kinds of weird thoughts and depression and sleeping a ton. I realize it may take a few days for the klonapin to get out of my system.

I am pretending to be sick so that I can take a break from all of the things that I have to do with my children because it always seems to go badly. Been in therapy for 15 years I just right now wish there was a way I can take a long break and leave. As I lay in my bed and hear that things are going well downstairs with my husband helping with homework which he doesn't usually do it just makes me feel worse about myself. Our 12-year-old is the meanest person to me in my life. I have him in counseling and medication and spend a large part of the past seven years focused on how to try to make him better. My husband always points out that the dynamic with me involved seems to be a problem. It just makes me want to quit.