I had a psychiatrist I feel in love with. But then I realized, through his patience and appropriate care, that I loved him for caring about me. I didn't have my Dad growing up and it was like he was my father. But I came to realize he was better than that because he didn't judge me, he was safe and he was helping me put myself together----just good therapeutically. He even told me he loved me too, as a person. When he left I hugged him for being patient and understanding. And he told me that I had taught him so much--- not only as a psychiatrist but as a person ...with tears in his eyes... and he thanked me!

I think a good therapist knows how to address your transference and a bad one will take advantage for their own means....Mine ignored me when I would flirt/come on and tell me that in time I would see that it was best for him to do that. He was right. I'm not sure how this will work out for you, but I hope he approaches it with the same care. As far as shutting down...here is a thought I have only since I've been where you are: is it possible that you're using your love attachment as a way to shut down so you won't be vulnerable and have to face your issues head on(and be "judged" by someone you're in love with). Ever see "Antwone Fisher"? In it, the psychiatrist Antwone sees starts to realize that even though he tried to resist the feelings he had for Antwone, it was only when he acknowledged that he really cared for Antwone instead of fighting it, that he could really help him. A caring therapist isn't a bad thing.