You are so hard on yourself. Your own expectations of yourself might be what's trapping you because no matter what you do, you don't meet the expectations you place on yourself. Your therapist, although is trying to help, reinforces that by placing expectations on you on top of what you already have. That makes 'double' expectations.

It's the harsh superego vs. the pleasure seeking id. You're id is over-controlled. Sorry, i don't have the answers but can really relate to your posts, especially about feeling trapped and the abandonment fears. I've also had sui feelings about being trapped, it's so distressing, i can empathize and relate.

I see this pattern in most all of your posts and always wonder why you don't see this within yourself because i know you are very bright.

Maybe try to not work so hard, see what happens. Do the opposite of everything you think you 'should' do or how you think you 'should' feel. That might lead to new insights...

I hope it passes soon.