pinkispretty28, Hello and welcome to PC.

I am glad that you found us and came here to share. I was wondering if you could also go out to codependency meetings. These are 12 step programs. There are ways to start taking care of yourself without only looking to him for your self worth. You deserve better treatment and helping yourself would be a great way to learn better coping skills and also increase your self esteem. Couples counseling as mentioned by kaliope is also a great idea. Best wishes here at PC.