Hello theres_always_hope: Over the years, I've been on allot of the med's you mentioned I recently went off of the generic variety of Cymbalta due to cost considerations after being on it for going on 3 years. I'm now med-free. Personally I would say you're not missing anything. It sounds like you're doing pretty-much everything there is to do. You didn't mention therapy. That's something else, if you don't have it. Plus there are such programs as DBT, CBT, etc.

Unfortunately my perspective is that you are correct. There is no magic pill... or magic anything else either. That lab rat feeling you described is pretty-much the way it is... along with feeling like you're on a treadmill to nowhere.

There is an author, Parker J. Palmer, whose work I am fond of. Palmer asserts that healing must come from within. The most others can do is to stand at the perimeter of a person's being & provide quiet support. One element of healing from depression that I feel is important is finding something that is really important to you. I know this can be a tall order when one is struggling with depression. But if you can find something that you truly love, & if you can pursue it, it can I believe help. Like I said, I know it's a tall order.

The other thing that occurs to me to suggest is to consider having your hormone levels checked by an endocrinologist. I don't know if you're female or male. If male, I do know that sometimes men can have low testosterone & this can contribute to depression. I would presume there is something similar that can effect women.

Good luck with your search...