People see me as too much work. I don't blame them despite it hurts. I was told this before, by crushes who did like me. Its true my life is too much. It's caused me to lose everything almost now well now my health too. If I could have one solid friend I could see everyday and just do anything with then and we be like twins I couldn't want more from life. I've had it all happen I don't know why I'm still breathing. I cry every moment deep down of how I am suicidal just to find love. Man id appreciate if something right happened so much, but I don't know. I am afraid of overwhelming that person for existing and they'd do anything to leave me like everyone else has for whatever reason. Right now all I want to do is die because I got no love where I'm at.
I look in my mirror wanting to hurt what I see blaming for being here of the suffering put on me I shouldn't have to fight. I hate how so many people ik are given things they didn't deserve and I get unnoticed and fighting my whole life to get where they are at. I have to worry about things a teenager, now 21 year old shouldn't worry about it even when I was a child. I was burdened by a huge cross to bear and people rather condemn me our of their own insecurity and fear. I hate people like that. They are a silent kind of evil that are the root of why bad things happen to alot of people.