IG, I haven't had this experience with a T. But when another loving relationship ended because it also was fused with pain, I found the way through it was first the revisiting thoughts and actions and rewriting history in my head. But finally, peace came when I could accept and embrace the good feelings--really take them into my heart as genuine and grieve their loss. Trying to discredit the good feelings was a way to defend against and protect me from the hurt of losing them, but it left me feeling worse. I think because there could be no resolution that way. Embracing the good feelings allowed me to feel the loss, which was painful, but necessary in order to let it go. The benefit is that the good feelings remain--tempered by the sadness that they couldn't last--but they do remain, and that's easier to live with.