FKM makes a good point about embracing the good feelings about the person who hurt you and to acknowledge the good part of that relationship. Of course, it wasn't all about hurt. It almost never is. Clearly, there was a part of the relationship with your ex-T that was giving you something important, something you needed badly. No reason to deny that. Denying that would only keep you stuck. Of course, it's painful to think of good moments now, but that's how pain gets released little by little. It doesn't get released if it's not even acknowledged and the grieving can't start.

But it looks from your post that you are embracing the good part of the relationship right now and accepting the pain that comes with it..It's good.